when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
