Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
