direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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