Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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