so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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