those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
