i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
