He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
