So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
