idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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