I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
