Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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