okay pat passed out under dana's car
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
