I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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