ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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