I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
