38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
