Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
