Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
