No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
