So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
