I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
