He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
