we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
