Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
