I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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