Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
