I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
