It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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