i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It all started with a game of naked twister.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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