May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
