I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
