Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This is the prime rib incident all over again
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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