I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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