btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
