Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
