Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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