The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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