well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it was like his penis was on wheels.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
