too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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