We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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