yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
