Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its not stalking. its research.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
