how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
as a side note pls kill me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
