it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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