Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize