If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She's the barista slut.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
