She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
