New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
