Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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