Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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