i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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